How to change people

Written by Heidi Rain

March 28, 2016

Being in a relationship of any kind with an addict or alcoholic causes an emotional, physical, and psychological rollercoaster. It’s crucial that you have BOUNDARIES! My latest on demand master mini course lays the foundation of how to set and hold a boundary with an addict. You will get the exact step by step formula and the insight, wisdom, and guidance you need to set a boundary and FOLLOW THROUGH.

Learn:

  • Why boundaries fail
  • Common boundary mistakes with an addict or alcoholic
  • How to get massive clarity around what you want, deserve, and are no longer    willing to tolerate.
  • How to communicate with clarity, empathy, and strength.
  • How to follow through
  • The exact language to use with an addict or alcoholic
  • How to stop being manipulated, gaslit, and guilted out of your boundaries
  • How to create a healthy, peaceful environment for you and your family.

Can you change someone else?
YES! Or NO! Circle one.
Yes! You can.
But it won’t happen without you doing anything. There are three steps.
Step One: Grab a pen and a piece of paper and write Dear Honey at the top of the page.
Step 2: I want you to get very specific. What would you like to change about them? Think for a minute about all of the things that drive you crazy about them. Now write all of those things down.
Step 3. Cross out Honey, and put your name instead.
Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what bothers you about other people?”
Or how about “What’s missing in your relationship is what you’re withholding?
Let’s look at that list again. Let’s pretend you wrote down:
My partner needs to show more affection.
Now, I want you to ask yourself, “How do I show affection?”

You may think you show affection. But I am going to hedge a bet that you actually withhold it. And I bet it goes something like this, “I showed affection last time. I’m going to wait for them to be affectionate this time.”
“I’ll say I love you when he says I love you”.
You see? You become like a scorekeeper in the affection department and you give or withhold according to whose winning or losing.
Here’s the deal. If you want more affection in your relationship, be more affectionate!
If you want more help. Help more.
If you want more passion, for God’s sake, get sexy!
If you want to feel appreciated, appreciate yourself! Really! Take your gorgeous self down to the grocery store and buy yourself some flowers! Better yet, go to the actual florist!
Want more romance? Draw a hot bubble bath, light the candles and call your partner in to wash your back!
But we don’t do that. Right? We wait for someone else to give us what we desire most. STOP WAITING! Its not going to happen that way! You have to give yourself what you want the most.
And then. Something radical happens. When you start giving, you start getting! That’s right!
You deserve to get your needs met. Go on. Meet them.
I love you,
Heidi

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