Three types of control freaks. I was number 3.

by | Jun 28, 2017 | Advice, boundaries, codependency, Feelings, Relationships

After I was asked to do a video on power struggles, I realized the video should really be about control. Because in my mind, all a power struggle is, is a delusion that you actually have any control.

Then, as I thought about it, I realized there are really three types of controllers.

  1. The Charming Controller
  2. The Complaining Controller
  3. The Compulsive Controller

I’m in recovery for the third.

In my mind, a compulsive controller had the best interest of others at heart. And it’s not intentionally trying to control. It’s instinctual.

I hope you find great value in today’s video explaining all there.

At the end, I give some tips on how to overcome the urge.

Watch the video now… RIGHT NOW (said in controlling voice.)

How Do You Care Less About What Others Think Of You?

by | Jun 5, 2017 | Advice, boundaries, codependency, Feelings, Low self esteem, Relationships

Let’s cover first things first. You’re never not going to care what others think of you. And do you know why? It’s because you’re awesome. You’re sensitive and you actually want people to like you. It’s important to you.

So, instead of putting all of your energy into not caring, let’s focus on 3 keys that will change your perspective on what people are actually thinking.

#1. You’re making up what you think people are thinking about you.

Yes! It’s true! You actually have no real idea what people are thinking. Often, it’s the story in your head you are telling about what people are thinking that is making you anxious, sad, or upset. So, if you’re making things up, why not make up something good?

#2. People aren’t thinking about you.

I hate to tell you. I mean, yes! You are awesome, lovely, chatworthy! AND no one is truly thinking about you. And if they are, they’re thinking about you in terms of how you compare to themselves. We’re all a little egotistical. And we’re all more invested in ourselves than we are in other people anyway.

#3. You need to take a frenemy inventory: block, delete, and move on.

Ok, let’s say it’s true that people are talking about you. And you now this only because you’ve heard it from someone who knows. People are talking, they’re leaving nasty comments. Or plain old being rude. It’s time to block, delete, and move on! Life is too long to have those kind of relationships!

Watch the video to see the whole explanation….