Dysfunctional Relationships with Food, Alcohol or Drugs

by | Sep 9, 2017 | Advice, binge drinking, Binge eating, Feelings, Low self esteem, Recovery

Hello lovely,
Sometimes it’s easy to tell you’re in a dysfunctional relationship. He’s treating you poorly. You are sick of the same old stuff.You see how you deserve more and you are sick of settling.
But when it comes to drugs, alcohol or food it can be pretty confusing.
Because the one thing that can be causing us pain can also be making us feel better at the same time.
I work with a lot of people who aren’t sure they’re an alcoholic. In fact, many of my clients don’t line up with that identity. They’d rather just put alcohol behind them, close the book and move on.
And sometimes, it can be hard to tell when it’s time to take action. We can get stuck wondering what to do.
I have made a sister video to my past one. This one is 5 surefire signs you are in a dysfunctional, codependent relationship with food, drugs or alcohol.
I hope you take some time to watch it if that resonates with you.
And if not, if you are already on your sacred walk to wellness, will you share it with someone who may be on the fence?
Early intervention is the ticket to having a happy life.
It’s like finding cancer quickly.
Let’s help as many people as possible.
Here’s the link to the video!

5 Sure Fire Signs You Should End Your Relationship

by | Aug 30, 2017 | Advice, boundaries, codependency, Feelings, Relationship Coaching, Relationships

Being on the fence about your relationship can be Hell. No doubt! The song plays in your head… “Should I stay or should I go now…..”

It really is maddening. Wondering if or when things will change.

This week, I dive into helping you decide if you should stay or go.

I am giving you 5 sure fire signs it’s time to go.

1. You’re waiting for a sign

2. You’re waiting for someone to change

3. You know you deserve better but you’re settling

4. You’re strategizing

5. You don’t like who you are in the relationship

If you feel like you want more help with this, please feel free to check out how I can help here https://www.lovecoachheidi.com/coaching-packages/

Watch the video where I go in depth on each sign.

People Pleasing. When It’s Scary To Be Yourself

by | Aug 23, 2017 | Advice, binge drinking, Binge eating, boundaries, codependency, Feelings, Low self esteem, Relationship Coaching, Relationships

It used to be really important to me to fit in. I didn’t want to share anything about myself that could potentially turn someone off.

I certainly didn’t want to talk about my eating disorder, or my binge drinking. I wanted to look like I had it together at all times.

But now, since I’ve healed, I’ve come a long way baby! Watch this video on people pleasing to learn more…

A Special Video for Moms and Wives of Addicts

by | Aug 15, 2017 | Advice, binge drinking, Binge eating, boundaries, codependency, Feelings, Love, Relationships

Hello lovely,

Let me get right to the point…

WHEN YOU ask me questions about how to go about your relationship with the addict in your life….

I FEEL that I have great information for you

I WANT you to click on the video

So, IF YOU watch and implement the video

I WILL continue to be able to help you

And to the contrary,

WHEN YOU ask me questions about how to handle your addicted loved one

I FEEL like I have great answers for you

I WANT you to click on the video

IF YOU  don’t watch and apply the video, likely nothing will change

I WON’T be able to help you

Do I have any control over whether or not you watch this video? Of course not. All I can do is make the video, offer it to you and let go of the outcome.

But that’s easier said than done. Especially wheen there are so many feelings involved. So, this week’s video is a deeper dive into the boundary conversation. I hope you enjoy it!

Also, in the video, I made mention of the Online Family Program for families of addicts or alcoholics. You can find out more about that program here. https://onlinefamilyrecoveryprogram.mykajabi.com/p/online-family-program-landing

Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. Have you set a boundary? How has it gone for you?

Pink Clouds: How to Stay Motivated to Make a Change

by | Aug 8, 2017 | Advice, binge drinking, Binge eating, codependency, Feelings, Relationships

You know how it goes. You make a decision to take some massive action and suddenly you get a burst of motivation. You decide to lose the weight, leave the boyfriend, or get sober. And at first, it feels easy! It’s a no brainer! You’re not even craving that thing or person you left behind.

“Good Riddance!” You think.

It’s good to be free.

Except, have you ever broken up with a bad boyfriend, convinced it was the absolute right thing for you to do, only to find yourself a month later stalking his social media or asking friends if they’ve heard anything new? Maybe you even fantasize that you could go back in and test the waters? Kind of like an alcoholic who thinks maybe they’ll just try light beer.

Or, have you decided to drop 20 pounds ‘cause your SO DONE obsessing about your stomach so you blow off carbs like an industrial leaf blower in the dead of fall, only to find two weeks later you’re craving and caving. Someone pass the donuts, now dammit. Please.

Why does that happen?

Well, you’re not an emotional sadomasochist. You’re human.

And no matter how motivated you are to take action initially, the motivation will flee, fade, and lose it’s get up and go push.  Giving way to the “maybe just this once” mentality.

Here’s why.

People are only really motivated to do anything for two reasons. 1. To avoid pain. Or 2. To gain pleasure.

Most people are motivated by pain initially-That thing became so bad that you HAD to do something about it NOW.

But after time, that, what I call, PUSH of PAIN will lose its “ummmph”.

And that’s when you’ll promptly get off your so called pink cloud and succumb to the grey rain with the rest of us.

What the rest of us are doing is moving to phase two of staying motivated: finding our pleasure.

If you don’t find out WHY or what’s in it for you to keep going, you’ll stop when the hurt wears off.

How Do You Care Less About What Others Think Of You?

by | Jun 5, 2017 | Advice, boundaries, codependency, Feelings, Low self esteem, Relationships

Let’s cover first things first. You’re never not going to care what others think of you. And do you know why? It’s because you’re awesome. You’re sensitive and you actually want people to like you. It’s important to you.

So, instead of putting all of your energy into not caring, let’s focus on 3 keys that will change your perspective on what people are actually thinking.

#1. You’re making up what you think people are thinking about you.

Yes! It’s true! You actually have no real idea what people are thinking. Often, it’s the story in your head you are telling about what people are thinking that is making you anxious, sad, or upset. So, if you’re making things up, why not make up something good?

#2. People aren’t thinking about you.

I hate to tell you. I mean, yes! You are awesome, lovely, chatworthy! AND no one is truly thinking about you. And if they are, they’re thinking about you in terms of how you compare to themselves. We’re all a little egotistical. And we’re all more invested in ourselves than we are in other people anyway.

#3. You need to take a frenemy inventory: block, delete, and move on.

Ok, let’s say it’s true that people are talking about you. And you now this only because you’ve heard it from someone who knows. People are talking, they’re leaving nasty comments. Or plain old being rude. It’s time to block, delete, and move on! Life is too long to have those kind of relationships!

Watch the video to see the whole explanation….